Don't Choose Fear

Philippa tells me that when we wake the brain usually ruminates about something bad for the first five minutes – that’s why it’s best to get up immediately and don’t steep ourselves in our same old stories of misery and fear. Why does it do this? Well, as usual it’s about survival. Wake up anticipating threat and the chances of remaining alive are increased. Now, this makes me think about another choice moment that is closely related …

Going back to the last blog on the nature of the ‘ground’ in non-dual teachings, it’s said that there is ‘one ground and two paths’. The two paths are nirvana – which is freedom from suffering – or samsara – which is endless suffering. (What a choice!) And that in each and every moment which of these two paths we take is up to us – we can make choices that open to the spacious awareness of the ground or choices that obscure it and start a cascade of fear driven emotions. Personally, I love this teaching because it takes something quite abstract and makes it instantly real. Isn’t this the ‘Automatic Pilot’ teaching found in week one of MBCT courses? The one that says ‘wake up’, make conscious choices to not follow patterns of being that make us miserable, closed, emotionally reactive, that just generate more self-created fear. Choose nirvana over samsara.

This choice is also present in our interactions with others. Something or someone activates a defensive reaction within us. What do we do with this? Do we simply react, swamped by a well worn set of emotions that we have gone around since childhood – being aggressive, being the victim, zoning out – or do we notice that we are about to enter this familiar narrative and do something different, for instance, drop the narrative and ‘hand shake’ the felt sense? It’s the same choice, nirvana or samsara.

Also when we sit in meditation we meet the choice again – in fact it’s through the repetition of meditation that we learn to make this choice. So as I sit practicing mindfulness of my breath, within a very short time, a thought comes and I am distracted and swept away by memories or imagining my future. Now comes the choice moment. Do I come back to awareness and recognise the distraction or do I simply let myself continue immersed in all the juicy seduction of what I’m thinking about? Same choice again, nirvana or samsara.

And this is most particularly so when we practice ‘not-doing’ meditation. Here the ground, our ever present pristine awareness, is immediately accessible - if we choose it. First step: make the decision to sit in this way. Second step: become aware of the spacious awareness that already exists and rest in that. Doing just this is to choose nirvana. However, become drawn into the thoughts and emotions that obscure this simple wide open awake awareness and we have chosen samsara. A mere diversion of attention that means everything.

I know none of these small choices on their own make a huge difference. That just bringing ourselves back from distraction now and then most certainly doesn’t end suffering, nor that occasionally stopping ourselves reacting to the very annoying habits of our partner creates a relationship of bliss. However, step by step, little by little, incrementally they can do. It’s all about what we feed in ourselves - one ground, spacious awareness, always present, but we can choose to know this or not.

NW. 22 August 2026