Training, Training, Training

We have an Irish friend who whenever she talks about the Dharma always says, “It’s all about training”. And she’s right. This last piece on the Perfections, before we go on to explore some bodhisattva meditations, is all about what training in the Perfections could look like and some of the things we might find coming up in ourselves when doing so.

But first another idea which is called the ‘two accumulations of merit and wisdom’. This one is important because it contains a hidden kindness. One of the great weaknesses of the secular mindfulness world is that we are either in or out depending on whether we are doing the meditation or not. In practice this means that most of us are very quickly out once our eight-week course is finished because going it alone afterwards is almost impossible. This is not a problem within Buddhism because we can be a practitioner of the Dharma and never meditate - which is probably the case for the vast majority of Buddhists throughout the world. This is because there’s a belief that living a kind and considerate life will create an accumulation of good karma - called ‘merit’ - that will at some point lead to the circumstances in which we can meditate and accumulate the wisdom that leads to realisation. However, and here is the kindness, it also means that for those of us who are patchy or indifferent meditators, when in periods of not meditating, we can still be fully engaged in the Dharma. That is, be members of the Buddhist Sangha, simply by continuing to take refuge and being committed to living by Buddhist values as best we can. No one is in or out depending on the quality of their meditation practice while at the same time it remaining true that meditation is necessary if we wish to become enlightened. Accumulating good karma - merit - though good, if we wish to achieve realisation is not enough - we do need both. This said let’s look at accumulating merit through training in the Perfections with particular attention to how to make these qualities even more present in our lives.

Generosity

I have always worried that I am not generous enough. It’s not that I am not generous but I can feel a little tight knot somewhere inside that is easily triggered and it scares me because I believe generosity is fundamentally necessary for the practice of the Dharma. Here training is acknowledging this felt sense and intentionally doing something different. Open my clenched hand and heart. I have discovered I have to practice this over and over again. Closing is such a habit.

Morality

On the other hand I have come to love sila, which we may translate as ethics or morality, because it’s all about relationships and interdependency. How we act, communicate and earn money is a really important area of training because fundamentally it’s about how we treat ourselves, others and world around us. Just think how the conflicts of our poor world would be radically changed if these Buddhist values were more widely embraced. If we really stopped and recognised that everything we do is connected to everything else and therefore cruelty and ignorance spreads out like ripples on a pond but then so do compassion and wisdom. Being kind really does matter. Noticing when we are not is part of the training. Being kind and wise is the gold standard.

Patience

I’m also OK with patience. I like its duel meanings of being patient, taking time to let something happen, and acceptance, which is not being at war with either ourselves or our circumstances. This issue of being at war, lacking acceptance, is a really big one because it’s a source of such widespread unhappiness. However this doesn’t come easily and being mindful of the felt sense of conflict within us - pushing and shoving, irascibility, short temper, frustration, wanting it now - and learning to relax is hard. Training in patience also links to the teaching on the first and second arrows. Circumstances are always shooting arrows into us - it’s inevitable. However, we can choose whether we shoot further arrows into ourselves and this is where acceptance comes in. Acceptance does not mean passively surrendering to the first arrow, but it does mean accepting this is what has happened and then deciding on the most skilful way to respond. Learning to spot the second arrows - which are frequently very sneaky - is another area of crucial training.

Diligence

This is second source of concern for me because I fear that deep down I am really a lazy person. My school report still haunts me - could do better if he tried harder. I think most Buddhist would-be meditators are a little persecuted by this as we all feel guilty about not meditating enough - I certainly do. And yet this has to be balanced by patience or it too becomes another battlefield where we fight with ourselves. Tsoknye Rinpoche has a phrase for this. He says a practitioner must have guts. This is an interesting one because it could so easily mean over-riding our own sensitivities, however perhaps this is just what is necessary when these sensitivities are actually disguised defences. Something that protects of us from emotions we are afraid of but which when confronted and gently pushed through could be released, giving us more space.

Meditation

Which naturally leads to the fifth Perfection, meditation. This one we are going to spend so much time on I’m not going to say anymore on it just now. Besides, we all know it’s about training, training and training already. Believing we are being kind to ourselves by not practicing is frankly a delusion. Practice really does make perfect!

If I am to be entirely honest with myself, on the one hand, prior to writing this, I would be pushed to remember these six Perfections without hesitation, and certainly the full ten would be beyond me. And yet on the other hand I do feel - believe - that generally these lists of good qualities do guide me through my life. Looking a little more carefully, it's as if I have given much more energy to the practice of meditation, while considering these practices that generate good karma as a kind of add on, almost a second best. However, I now realise that this has been a bit of a mistake. If it’s true that they create the foundation for wisdom to arise, that we need the two accumulations of merit and wisdom for realisation of our buddha-nature, then considering them as anything less than essential is to not see the full picture. This then brings back another memory of Pema Chödrön teaching from a very famous text called the Thirty Seven Practices of the Bodhisattva. Written in the fourteenth century by a Tibetan monk it has guided aspiring bodhisattvas ever since. But here’s the thing. Just opening it at random and selecting one of its practices is a bit of a shock. Here is number eleven:

11. The practice of all the bodhisattvas is to make a genuine exchange of one’s own happiness and well-being for all the sufferings of others. Since all misery comes from seeking happiness for oneself alone. Whilst perfect buddhahood is born from the wish for others’ good.

Do you see why it’s a shock - it’s really quite extreme. Am I to really exchange my happiness for the suffering of others? Is it true that my misery comes from seeking my own happiness? I don’t know how you hear this but I find it challenging and this interests me. A challenge is a kind of threat, so what in me feels this as dangerous and wants to push it away? I think the whole thing is requiring me to stretch and stretch again in a way that's uncomfortable and so this is not simply about training and then have a little rest, but rather training, training and then still more training just like our rather radiant Irish friend said.

NW. With thanks to Norma for her inspiration. 14 December 2025