It’s easy to fall into routine around the refuge, bodhichitta and dedication prayers that we recite at the beginning and end of our meditation sessions. You know the thing. We are in a rush or a bit late and the prayers give us a few moments more before we land on our cushion and start meditating proper. And at the end, with the sounding of the first bell, our mind is up and off, heading towards our next task in our busy schedule. It’s as if the prayers are a bit of an add on, not entirely necessary or central to what we are doing. Perhaps something we can almost disregard.
Given this let’s have a look at them and think about what they really say. The first is refuge. Refuge means a place of safety where we are no longer in danger or under threat. It’s the place you can plonk down into and really go phew. If you think about it, for most of us life is one long seeking for refuge - searching for experiences where we can just rest and not be hassled - making a home, having a drink, watching TV, time out in the country or immersed within our hobby, sport or exercise. The list goes on. And yet, through the lens of Buddhism, these do not count as true refuges simply because they are all finally unsatisfactory - they do not last, they require endless repeats or if done too much - think TV, drinking - turn into the opposite.
So what is a ‘true’ refuge then? Here we say the awakened mind, the teachings that point to the awakened mind and the community that practice to recognise the awakened mind. Our understanding of the awakened mind is non-dual awareness. An awareness that is always present and that has the quality of being spacious and clear. An awareness that contains the entire universe that perpetually arises and dissolves within it. An awareness that is not created, that is neither a thing nor nothing. Something that will never decay. A mystery that cannot be encompassed in words. The teachings that point towards this - in our case - largely are those of the Tibetan Buddhist tradition of Dzogchen - the Great Perfection. However they may also be found elsewhere, inside and outside of Buddhism, and all finally boil down to different ways to become aware of non-dual awareness, learning to rest in it and then rest in it all the time. Further more, we do this not just for ourselves but for everyone else as well. This is the entire path. Lastly we take refuge in the community - our sangha - that practice to recognise the awakened mind. Our little sangha is now largely online but I have a sense that scattered around there is an ever increasing community of practitioners who are not so much joined by the name of the organisation they support but by their growing realisation of the teachings. Small lights flickering on all over our planet.
Next comes bodhichitta. I don’t know about you but I love this long aspiration written by the Indian monk Shantideva some time during the eighth century CE. My favourite line remains, ‘may I be a tree of miracles’. However, I also struggle with it because I simultaneously harbour many feelings about what is going on in the world where I do not feel any of the kindness and compassion that this prayer encourages. In fact I feel rage and despair and this leaves me feeling a hypocrite every time I recite it. Here I don’t know what to say except it is better I recite it than not. That however conflicted I am this remains the light to steer by, a beacon of what is good and true in the midst of so much pain and suffering. If we think about it this has to be right - when did hurting someone else ever work out well? When did not kindness finally emerge as the most powerful emotion in the universe? I hang onto this like a man adrift in the sea clings to something that floats.
And lastly the dedication of merit. This nifty little four liner says it all. First line - may wisdom be attained. What is this? The wisdom of dwelling in non-dual awareness. May emotions be stilled - the equanimity that arises when no longer driven by wall to wall craving, hatred and ignorance. Then a map of all the stages of life - birth, old age, sickness and death. To be truthful, this didn’t mean that much to me until I reached old(ish) age and the beginning of sickness - however it’s now beginning to pinch and, speaking as a sentient being, I most certainly would like to be free of at least its worst aspects as I suspect you would also.
So there we have it. Our meditation book ends turn out to be incredibly profound and vast in their generosity. They frame the direction and motivation of our practice. They make it more than simply a selfish or narcissistic pursuit. And because of this in some ways they are far more important then the meditation itself because they all point to something far bigger than just me. Meditation is important, without it the intrinsic awareness of our buddha-nature would remain just an idea, but meditation without this bigger picture would finally have little meaning.
NW. 18 December 2023
This was so helped to read especially as everything seems to be a bit out of control in our beautiful world , or we have become so lost in wanting .
In This reflection, although prayer, may seem just words floating on air , it’s good to hear you say, better to be said than not .. that small lights across the globe continue and always will continue to try and brighten life’s of others . That is a miracle in itself , and an inspiring image .
That practice together, on and off a screen or sitting together in person or alone engenders some sort of goodwill and wishing that to flourish for all, feels hopeful rath…