Philippa was talking to me this morning about learning something new. Just how difficult it is because we attach to the sensation of not knowing the additional emotion of not liking and with this start a whole narrative, that unless we are very careful - mindful - turns into a turning away and a shutting down. She then reminded me of a way of understanding the process of personal change that I have written about in the past, (Nothing To Loose - Buddhism, Psychotherapy and Living Life), but had not thought of for some time. It’s called the ‘Hero’s Journey’ - hero of course is here gender neutral.
So how does this work? Life continually throws up challenges: a new job or relationship, changes in our friendships, health scares, different phases of our biological life. And also small things: making myself complete a difficult task. A boring job. Bungie jumping! Basically everything. In each and all cases the experience of the challenge has clearly definable stages that each lead into the next, creating a pattern that has the shape of a descent and resurrection. Like a U shape. And as with all challenging experiences, the person we go in as is changed by the journey - and depending on what it is - we come out to a lesser or greater extent, a different person. So what are the stages of the journey?
The Call. An event requires we do something. However, if we are scared of the call we may hesitate or back away. Stories tell of this evasion that never works. We always come to the same precipice and are required to jump. As we approach the edge, two terrifying demons line the path and they get bigger and bigger as we go towards them. But the moment we meet and pass through our fears they are instantly gone.
The Descent. We jump! Who knows what will happen but it is embracing the death of the self we have previously known. Scary.
The Road of Trials. This is where we enter into what is new. This is divided into two areas of psychological growth that concern the Great Goddess and Father Atonement - At One Ment. The first is the lesson that life is change, it contains all opposites, life and death, joy and sorrow, we may not pick and choose, but must embrace it all. The second concerns our authority. Taking full responsibility for our experience of things, becoming the author of our own life. Leaving being a victim I empower myself with my own agency. These two together, whatever the particular circumstances, are what is learnt. It is my life, my experience and I enter into it with commitment, love and wisdom. Which leads to -
The Divine Child. When acceptance and engagement meet something new is born. Be it something small - learning a new task - or something huge - meeting our own death. This is the new thing we were called to realise. This is why we jumped. This is the fruition of the trials.
The Return. But it is not all plain sailing yet. What is new must be established and this means fighting against the pull to just drop back into what is known. Old habits die hard and it requires commitment to keep going, especially when something is new. We need to do it and do it again. The child must grow.
ReIntegration. The moment we clamber up and over the lip of the opposite cliff. We have been changed in some way and now we have to integrate this change into our life. Things are a bit different, emotions are felt differently, responses and behaviours are little changed. We will certainly have more confidence, more humility, more love, more humour …
Of course, the biggest journey of all is the realisation there is no hero and no journey to make.
NW. 13.2.24 With thanks to Joseph Campbell
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