The (Almost) Impossibility of Doing Nothing

This ’doing nothing’ meditation, resting in an awareness of awareness itself, can become a nightmare. The harder we try the more it evades us. Any hint of wanting and it instantly slips away. Being critical or frustrated just makes it worse. So what to do? I can think of three things:

1. Cultivate an attitude of perfect indifference. Another word for this is acceptance - which of course is what mindfulness is all about. An established state of mindfulness is pervaded with calm and equanimity - so why abandon these wonderful qualities when practicing this particular form of mindfulness? So whatever arises that is fine - and this means accepting if needs be that it feels chaotic, having doubts and it not giving rise to pleasant feelings. I have been working on this for at least eighteen-years and I am still not rock solid in my confidence that I have glimpsed it. The thing is, ‘I’ can’t do it.

2. Now, having said accept, this does not mean that we will be able to do so, so then what? This is where our ability to recognise and stay with our felt sense comes in. Non-acceptance is an emotion - actually many emotions like frustration, disappointment, despair - so rather than simply identifying with them and falling into their narrative, we ask ourselves, “Where do I feel this in my body?”. And then we make the felt sense our object of mindfulness.

3. Gain a solid conceptual understanding of what the practice is about. Why are we practicing it? What makes it such an important practice? The answers to both these questions have been given in most of the books we have read together so if we do not know the answers then perhaps we need to go back and do some homework. Trying to practice meditation with no understanding, just relying on having an experience, is like trying to do something with one hand tied behind our back. We need both a conceptual and experiential understanding.

While we are on conceptual understandings another wider question comes up. How does this practice relate to our emotional life, especially when it is being triggered by the horrendous events around us? The answer here is basically the same for all systems of meditation: our practice creates the space so we may respond rather than unconsciously react. In the way we practice we have three methods that can help us achieve this:

1. Simple mindfulness of an object such as the breath, physical sensations or hearing and seeing. These methods generate a calm and stable state of mind that has the space within it not to immediately get caught up in conflicted emotions. And, as we all know, the more we do the stronger it gets.

2. Mindfulness of our emotions. So recognising I am triggered, I make the felt sense my object of mindfulness and observe how the emotions rise up and then recede if not fed by a narrative. This is a very powerful and utterly essential skill.

3. Resting in awareness. This is the most profound way and this is why we cultivate ‘doing nothing’ meditations. Within the space of awareness the clouds of conflicted emotions spontaneously ‘self-liberate’ - disperse of their own accord.

And finally let’s not forget the big motivation at the back of all this - our bodhisattva vow - I know this seems a million miles off and that I constantly fail each time I fantasise about killing off some political despot, (in a Buddhisty way!), but it is a light to steer by, even though it is frequently lost, how fortunate we are to have something that is so wholly good in the centre of our lives.

NW. 11 April 2024  With thanks to our whole sangha for prompting these reflections.